Glory Fiction

Creating Into The Void Of My Own Indifference to Fit In

Writer, Author, Creator of worlds and characters that I’m constantly getting lost in…so why not bring others with me?

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  • Writer’s Quote Wednesday

    attention(3)

    I feel quite the kinship with this quote of Susan Sontag. I’ve always been called the watcher by my family, the one who seems to have this eerie ability to “see” and know all.

    There were times I found it a curse. It can be hard being naturally attentive to detail and the subtleties of human nature. In most of my relationships I have proven the adage: I know you better then you know yourself, true. It’s not something I flaunt or revel in, it’s just another aspect of who I am as a person and as a creator.

    The truth is I just find people fascinating! It helps that I am curious and inquisitive by nature, I love to learn by experiencing and have found that the more you watch, pay attention and flow allowing authentic natures to act and react of their own accord the more you become intune to the many varying perspectives of people in the world.

    The more you begin to hear what people mean beyond the words they simply speak, the more you discover the individual beyond the situation or circumstance that they belong to. You become more aware of how nuance is layered in so many of life’s interactions and the varying degrees and levels in which it takes the form.

    This is how you create three dimensional dialogue and characters. This is how you layer your story with allegoric interpretations that it might take one or more viewing, reading, absorption to decipher. This is what adds depth to your work making it something more then just a one time good time, by making it an adventure where there are more discoveries to be made upon subsequent devouring.

    Think of the word narrative then think of the word statement, one suggests intimacy, warmth, person, whereas the other gives off the opposite. Statement is a mere telling, somewhat cold and disengaged. It doesn’t pull you into its confidence, it keeps you at controlled arms length.

    Now think of this in terms of storytelling. I believe that we all strive for narratives feeling and that always begins with perspective based in the diversity of life. In the knowledge one gets from perceiving, observing and learning from the real world around them.

  • Something To “Crow” About

     

    divinecrow

    The other day I went walking into my room and there it was seeming to fly straight at me, straight into my very vision: a big black crow with wings expanded gliding forward as if to catch its prey in readied talons.

    It was, after all just flying onto the upper gutter of roof, however in that instant it was as though all was still as time slowed and the full extent of its motion and existence penetrated my very being.

    I was in awe of its magnificent form, there was no fear in me but rather a divine peace, a scared happiness that it touched upon.

    Today has not been…let’s say a high note for me. As I’m dealing with a massive flare up (still undiagnosed, but the appointments scheduled so *fingers crossed*) and the reoccurring problem it keeps presenting to my daily.  To get all metaphysical on your asses for a moment it’s also a 22 day meaning that you will either rise or fall to the “test” presenting yourself. Think a kind of yo-yo effect that presents in the form of a problem that you either learn from or not and so it cause the same one to swing back around so you can try again come the next 22 day.  Numerology yo.

    Well when sitting at my desk after more then a few breakdowns I saw, yet again, a big black crow walking along the gutter of the building beside, just out the span of window to the left of me. This time it was more casual just puttering back and forth looking for grub, but I was transfixed, gliding my gaze with its precious movement until finally it took off away from my sight.

    Now I am someone who is more than a little open to messages in my surroundings, to guides, to all things spiritual and supernatural. I do not see omen in everything, but my senses are heightened to those things that do stick out be it mind’s eye or third eye, I pay attention to the feelings and the messages it provokes within me.

    So today, after being in much need of guidance, of aid in knowing what it is I’m supposed to do or learn and seeing the second of my onyx winged friends I decided to do a little searching.

    First and foremost I had no fear of it meaning death. In general I do not fear death, but I knew instinctively that these messengers were translating something more. So what else are crows a sign of you (and I) ask?

    Change.

    The crow is an omen of change representing ancient mystical laws and wisdom. They say when a crow calls out to you – as it had that day in my room, as though to bring my attention straight to its descent – we have an instant flash of our authentic selves.  That the crow sees our soul self. That tuning into its call is to remind you of who you are and all that you are capable of.

    A reminder that all the answers to the questions you have been asking are waiting to be discovered, but that you must look beyond your present range of vision and perhaps get out of your current familiar and comfortable space and pattern. Crows themselves are known for being a very adaptable creature capable surviving in almost any situation. So its presence is basically reminding you that you can adapt and that now is the time for major change to take place that will awaken your true, authentic soul!

    As they also harbor the message of creation and the magic in all around us they help to remind one of the immense power each and every one of us has to take hold of our own destinies.

    That coupled with the prompt for change and the trust you can have in it and yourself I can’t help but feel a little humbled and flattered that I should get such a powerful answer to my prayers for aid in this hard time.

    So remember you never know what some might consider “normal” or “ordinary” truly means when you are open to allowing its to resonate with your senses and spark the healing of your soul!

     

  • I Have Nothing To Say… Among Other Excuses

    nothingtosay

    How many times have I been here before, or for that matter have you? Sitting before a blank page on a screen or in a notebook with an empty head and a tight chest as the feeling of disappointment strikes with the realization that here you are ready to work but without anything to say.

    In the words of Bianca Del Rio…Bologna!

    I’m not sure that any human at any given time is without some kind of utterance or opinion. We are, after all, alive and passionate creatures given the wonderful gift of independent thought and speech, so why do we feel the need to downplay our inherent abilities and settle for grunting?

    The truth is that if we simply allow ourselves the freedom to articulate – be it through pen, keypad, mouth or any other various form of expression – without necessarily some prearranged goal, just the basic free-flow of thought, our thoughts on any given topic that comes to our heads, that inspires our thinking, that triggers responding response then we will find that we have more to give, to “say” then we would ever naturally give ourselves credit for.

    It can suck – trust me I know – when you sit down with time to work on an ongoing project and all you can seem to do is draw a blank. You sit and you stew and you go over and over starting points in your head that never seem to make it to fruition, in fact they are so pensive and frantic attempt that they usually drown the use of each other out and as soon as you think you’ve thought of a starting point another takes its place just as you were beginning to write it out.

    And so we erase, we backspace, we cross out, draw over, turn or rip page and are quickly back to where we started…blank space.

    It could drive one mad all that white. All that opportunity that one seems to be squandering. We beat ourselves up and remain dissatisfied as we chose to move on and away from our work, cursing a lack of muse and motivation.

    I am just as guilty of this as anyone, however, I am not one – blame it on the responsibility, accountability and self motivating drill Sargent I have ingrained in my brain – to not try to fix what I see as not right.

    It started with journaling, I would go and start writing down whatever it was that I was thinking when I opened book. It didn’t matter what was or wasn’t in the forefront of my thoughts, because it lead me to the core of one truth or other that allowed me to walk away having learned more about myself.

    And so I thought how this could be applied to my work, to my writing and my characters, imagine if I just started writing when lost, when blocked, just began to play around with possibilities, it is after all my world, probability is on my side and thanks to drafts no one need know what crazy experiments took place here?

    Call me Dr. Frankenstein because I said to myself that I didn’t care what I felt or thought that I would write, I would just start no matter how good, bad, ugly or unusable the material was…and guess what, I found that most of the time what this did was spark my inspiration back to where it needed to be. Even if I didn’t use what I had written I didn’t lose what it was that it inspired. The truths it led me too about my characters or story, the secrets it revealed, and yes, sometimes the flaws, sometimes it would point out a hole in need of patching, an irregularity in need of straightening out.

    No matter the result it would put me back on task by keeping me on task. No writing is ever a waste because it keeps your mind moving, your juices in flow and you in check helping to reveal all sorts of truths that could otherwise be dulled, diluted or squandered.

    So go on, keep writing, keep going you’ll be surprised at the brilliant things you discover about yourself and about all things your kind of creative!

  • Tasted Depths

    tasteddepths

    So today I got my first ever creative challenge prompt from Creative Cafe (Just started following them on Medium and you can too here!)

    The theme being Tasted, inspired by the quote:

    “He tasted her mind and realized he was starving.”

    I’m eager to join, or at least participate in my own capacity. Today hasn’t been my day to start with and I was feeling pretty uninspired and unmotivated but decided to give it a go, to put my energies towards something (thank you well timed email!).

    They wanted to focus on poetry so here is what I came up with, entitled Tasted Depths, hope you enjoy the read!

    Something inside him needs fulfilling,
    He has not been able to satisfied its lust.
    Hunger,
    Distraction,
    It’s all shallow and meaningless

    In the greater scheme of things it falls short, can’t compel this, refuses to dilute it.
    Thirst will not be quenched, soul imbued.
    It hurts so deep and intensely,
    How does it seem to wrap its eerie claws around every piece of him?

    Once a consumer of goods, of people and places,
    Now a disgraced temple of all that was wasted.
    He used them all without second thought,
    No regard for what was lost, when caught in a trap laced with despair, refusing to see that which wasn’t there.

    For he could not love them,
    Though they would love him,
    This evil seed from what blooms forth bitter and rancid.

    Karma personified for nothing would complete him now all is dulled, save the passionate fire from that which drives him forth,
    That which falls to the pit of him, the very depths,
    Inside he is wrecked with this knowing, with this dissatisfaction
    Pushing, pulling, and propelling him to action.

    But what is the answer for this inner fatigue tired now of all once perceived, to be good, to be fun, to be right and entertaining,

    The ticking of a clock comes into his mind, it is almost over, he’s used all of his time.

    He could never replace her, never really know her,
    In a world of flowers she was ever a four leafed clover,
    That’s when it started, this voice in his body,
    This deprivation and malnutrition of one unbelonging to any one person, to any one thing, he knew he was a wanderer so too did she

    With no need to change him she bid him goodbye and that’s when a wandering piece of him died.

    Something so good, so keen and so bright,
    She was the catalyst, she lit the fire making this need inside him something so dire
    Why had he not told her then all that she was?

    A second chance he had thought, at his own pace, something that would come again, but to his disgrace these chances can be lost in a world so busy
    When appetite is ignited flavor is something worth savoring
    We are many, yes, but we are alone
    Taking a pack to make one feel hole

    You may not know when that something is missing
    But when yearning is touched upon meetings first tasting it will not let you go without starvation’s replacing

    When the loss of something never had hits that place in your soul where you question existence listen to its cry, hear heed of its breast as it tightens its grip around that hole in your chest, dropping low to intestines it furrows and buries knowing the more you ignore it the more it will drive you crazy,

    Aimless he was after their only meeting
    Regretting that this be the one time that he was not greedy
    Why was she different what made him wake?
    He’ll never know now

    May that taste be his fate.

     

     

     

     

  • Writer’s Quote Wednesday

    writerdielifequote

     

    A writer is a world trapped in a person

    Victor Hugo

    When I first heard this quote I can tell you that I was all the yes! It spoke to me with such truth, hitting upon something that I had also so deeply and organically believed.

    At first, when I began to explore the depths of my creation it was just a fun thing to do, to “play” at, but so quickly it became so much more. It became an entity onto its own. I had no seeming control of this thing that wanted to explode forth from me and change my world by exposing me to its.

    My characters, their lives and worlds were more than just an extension of me, more than my ideas come to life, they were tangible creations made flesh by their expression through me as a vessel to lend form to their stories. I was the translator in the realm of the physical that could put their lives to paper and give voice to their experiences.

    My characters and their worlds are more than mere imagination or fancy, they have taught me through our time together as much as any interaction or adventure, through them I am able to expand my perception of the world. I am able to know more then just myself first hand.

    I am given new perspective on a variety of situations, limitations, strengths, folly, love, hate, betrayal, you name it! These worlds open their doors to me, take hold of me without warning or any preparation on my part. When their time comes it comes full force and I am merely along for the ride.

    When a world grips a writer a writer becomes the world, they are immersed in its going on’s, in its vast depths and trenches of unruly knowledge and inspiration.

    We go and go until it has used us up and told its story to the bitter end. Even after we think we have reached our point of breaking, even after we think we have hit a wall, it perseveres if we allow ourselves to succumb to its clutches. If we trust in its knowledge to use us to tell its story. To share its culture and divides.

    That’s why the best advice I could give any writer would be to succumb and trust it to lead you to its telling. We may think we know best but inside its the world that will show us the way if we only let it by exploring its hold on our pens.

  • Why The Biggest Fan Of Your Writing Has To Be You

    #1fan

     

    As children we tend not to need other’s permission or approval to do something creative, to go for something that we want or feel we need to do. We have a unyielding confidence that paves the way for ultimate belief in our vision and skills at conveying and achieving its means ends.

    Of course we also expect to be naturally praised for our efforts and heralded as the genius architects of our creation, I mean after all why wouldn’t we be?

    At one point or another, however short or long lived, as a child you had the confidence to just go for whatever ideas came into your head without any doubt that you could or would fail and without a second thought that those around you would love it.

    Yet as we come into our own in a world ready to riddle one with doubts we become ever more in need of approval and reassurance that we are doing well and not wasting our time.

    What ever happened to just going with it and for it? With just doing?

    Society is based on the pack mentality that can pray into the insecurities of wanting to fit in, to be loved, to be liked and accepted for who you are and what you provide. When one is a creative it can feel a lot like being lost at sea just waiting to be picked up by something, anything that will throw you a lifeline.

    It can be a needy and thankless business. It is based in subjectivity after all, and not everyone is going to love your work, however it can seem so hard when you are just starting out to have anyone love or notice your work at all. To find your niche and fan-base, to find proof that you’re not just creating or – to borrow a phrase from Hemingway – bleeding into the void.

    It can become all too consuming trying to find someone to “approve” of your work, to get it on a level that feels in and of itself satisfying.

    I myself have had a hard go of it. When I started I was an unstoppable force, I had focus and confidence in what I was doing and how it would be received, I knew it was good, I knew it was worthwhile. Yet those around me merely viewed it with indifference, a fate worse then outright hate or judgment because at least with those you’re stirring an emotion, your provoking a reaction.

    Time and time again to give someone my work and wait for them to read it until I eventually asked if they had gotten a chance to only to receive a simple “Oh, yeah, I did.” reply and that’s it!

    Well suffice it to say it will eventually break your heart and have you questioning your souls work all together. Until all you seek is critique, is response to something you have poured so much of your time, effort and life into. You may even begin pandering. Began trying to prove to yourself that you can write “marketable” material. Can write more “mainstream”by following conventional standards and rules.

    I’m not trying to be a snob here really, it’s not that my work is that “avant guard” or revolutionary, but it’s mine, in my style, my genre, my way. The thing is that I began to question my choices. Began to question my judgement and my skills so I tried to prove to myself my adaptability, tried to experiment in something that I could do that would sell so that I could support my true passion as a hobby.

    That’s right, I designated what I loved to a hobby, all because I felt by failing to resonate with readers I was proving that my work had no audience, and a creator without an audience is somewhat a creator without a purpose.

    We don’t just create because we can but because we want to share, we yearn to share that which is our souls desire, the thing that makes us happiest with something greater then ourselves as a means to provide it for other people, as a means to spark life into others with that which sparked life into us. When you love so much of what you do you don’t want to be alone with it you want to express with it! And expression is all about the directly and distinctly stated. If what you are doing repeatedly gets lost so too do you.

    It can be a hard thing to find your way back home once lost, once permeated by doubt and fear. Suddenly your energies get fractured and frantic, you stop creating with the precision and ease that was once at your command. Suddenly the things you have created seem tainted by the lack you perceive in yourself. You suddenly start approaching your own work with the same indifference, only this indifference it is laced with the disdain you feel for it, for the lackluster, for the fault.

    When one waste too much time on reception they lose their power of conception. It becomes a hard cycle to break. Once you are effected so too is your work, so even if you go on creating your need for approval will leak through and your disheartened perception will lead to even more discouraging reception.

    You will build it up in your head as something you need in order to proceed but unfortunately you can’t receive unless you proceed, unless you accept the time it takes to build a presence and find your audience.

    If you want to know where your heart is…look to where your mind goes when it wonders. – Vi Keeland

    This means something, don’t ignore where your mind goes to be happy, what you do to feel whole. Even if, for now, it’s solitary company. Because in the end yours is the opinion that truly matters. If you are what you do then do, for god’s sake, indifference, demoralizing, haters be damned!

    Because if you believe so too will others even if it has to be eventually. You can’t expect respect if first you don’t respect yourself. You can’t expect love if you don’t first love yourself. Lead by example.

    If you build it they will come, but you have to continue to build! You have to first be able to clap for yourself, high five your ass in public and stay true to the confidence that led you to begin in the first place.

    You’re awesome,, let the world know it, but let yourself know it first!

  • Writing Backwards

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    There are certain guidelines to writing, at least when you go to study it. You will learn to outline and sequence. How to create a three act structure (depending on the medium in which you write.) Basically you will learn how to write a cohesive story in a thought out and organized manner that will make it easier to edit and redraft.

    It’s a great system, and everyone has their own particular way of making it work for them and speed the process of their writing well making it easier on themselves, but thus far I have found it just isn’t for me…and that’s okay! In fact I’ll even tell you what is..aren’t you lucky! 😉

    I am someone who sits at her computer, sits with her notebook and just writes. When the muse inspires me and wont let me go I just need to release its inspiration from my mind. Not to say that I don’t outline, but sometimes its not necessary to do it first.

    This may sound a bit wacky, but let me walk you through my process a bit:

    I try to push ideas away, and the ones that will not leave me alone are ultimately the ones that end up happening. ~ J. J. Abrams

    When I get an idea that just won’t let up it mean that I have been thinking of a certain theme, creating a world where this theme exists, I keep coming up with ideas and twists that will take it somewhere unexpected. It mean that I have characters who inhabit this world already made flesh in my mind’s eye. It means that I have had personal asides as these character, be it in the mirror on my way out or as the mood strikes me in Shakespeare-esque asides. I have interacted as these characters creating dramatic interactions, reproofs, fights, snarks, humorous and playful interactions.

    In a nutshell I now know this world and the people who inhibit it. So when I sit down to write it, it’s more like a private jam session. Taking my knowledge one step forward by making it physical. By playing with its form in the material realm and seeing where it takes me. If it has actual meat to its illusive structure or if its just a fun daydream.

    This is how I can be surprised by what comes out of my proverbial pen. This is how characters and circumstances can take turns I hadn’t even expected.

    I will even publish my starts to see how other’s react (this was on an old blog of mine that was lost in a cataclysm of technologies folly) and for my own attentions sake. I have no problem sharing a work in progress, I’ll even admit that sometimes I can be too eager. My youth is a testament to that! I mean first draft and done, no editing necessary, after all its about the story not the spelling or grammar – or the fact that sometimes my mind works faster then my keyboard and letters can get ahead of themselves as I through my dyslexic caution to the wind – right? Oy!

    Recently I revisited an old story’s start, it was one that had a lot of potential but that hadn’t been the right time for me to see it through. It was more published playtime that just hadn’t stuck, but there I was in a semi-rut of my own between projects and feeling a little adrift.

    Well I first reread it and it got me excited, got my brain churning with fresh ideas, like I was looking at this world, these characters with new eyes that the time between had allowed me to manifest and so I began to play, to continue the story from this new perspective. I had no idea where I was going with it I just knew that I loved what it was becoming. Loved the free flow of creative, of characters and development.

    Fast-forward to page 86. Yes 86! I had more then proved to myself that I was committed to telling this story, committed to these characters who had grown so in-depth and interconnected in a way that any structured set up might have hindered. By allowing myself this time to play within the lines of the story I had established in my head I allowed it to breath its own life into its existence and become something bigger then originally projected.

    I got to know these characters intimately like new acquaintances! Got to discover what made them tick, what made them love, what their inner most motive was and from there what would drive the story forward to its eventual climax!

    When it came to page 86 – no particular reason why this was the number of pages I took pause at – I decided to structure. To create a loose outline that would create a more defined boning to the story’s trajectory. Now my “loose outlining” usually looks like Da’vinci’s backwards journaling, but it gets me through by giving me starting point to jump of of, an A, B and C if you will that I fill the blanks in with character.

    It’s an ever evolving process, the outline sometimes falling to better ideas, more organic and sinuous manner then I have written down as planned, however it also helps to keep me in line when I draw a blank, when I hit a road block or loose my way.

    I allow for structure and free-flow to work harmoniously together in a way that allows my creative to work through me, my characters to speak through me to create an environment that simulates the feeling of real life.

    How often do our own best laid plans go array? This method gives way for life, giving way for a more fundamental story with humanity at the core of its arch.

    Sometimes I think story can be too regulated. I’m not one for chaos, I like my I’s dotted and my T’s crossed. I have out grown my editing complex and know how many drafts it can take to make greatness. I have been called a perfectionist and am a stickler for continuity both character and world. I am a cannon fangirl and will ask myself all of the hard questions I would (and have!) ask anyone else. My way is not for everybody, but it works for me.

    If I could have any writer learn any one thing from me and the way I work it would be to have fun, to play with your characters and their worlds. To allow yourself the leeway to simply create before bogging yourself down with purpose. Allow for organic free-flow to lend life to your work and realism to your storytelling.

    Engage yourself. Engage the world, cheerleader. 😉

  • Get Over The Shame And Just Go

    fuckyourbadvibes

     

    I’m not sure I know of anyone who has lived a creative life without having gone through the fire of conventional doubt. Really what is life without the tests that make us prove ourselves and fight for what is really worth it?

    Sometimes though, the tests come too many, too fast and when you are in no place to take it in and instead take it on and unfortunately become a part of the pain.

    I have had many struggles in my lifetime from chronic undisguised illness, depression, and abandonment to straight up assholeitis – the suffering from multiple interactions of many assholes at one time…if we’re being professional.  All this well trying to legitimize the one thing that made any of it okay: my creative.

    My creative: an interactive storyboard, where I would act out my stories before writing them down, mixing my love of ballet, dance, acting and, yes, kickass fight scenes in a constructive form of improv storytelling that ended up becoming a method through which I was able to release the stress of everyday living well escaping it at the same time.

    This method of mine wasn’t understood by many and even worse wasn’t accepted. Most didn’t want to know, but they would use it against me, to ridicule and debase me.

    I was a weirdo and let my freak-flag fly. I was proud, stubborn and defiant. I didn’t mind that I was an unconventional creative, in fact I reveled in it. I had found my thing at an exceptionally young age and nothing was going to stop me.

    Ah the ideals of youth.

    Something did stop me, all of those things that I mentioned above, yeah I could only run from them for so long, only lose myself in my world for so long before it too began to feel the harsh sting of corruption.

    I began to take it out on myself. I began to let it poison who I was and came to believe that that was it. Before I knew it conventions struggle and existing on the fringes became too difficult a challenge, I couldn’t keep up so I stopped.

    Fast forward to now and I still struggle with the shame I feel on the other side of zombiedom. Shame that for so long kept me in the shadows, kept me from reclaiming my right to live the life I wanted to and how. Fear took over and doubt crept in, and once that seedy little cretin gets under your skin it becomes an infestation of vast proportions.

    I was paralyzed by the results of my parallelization!

    How often do things work out this way? We struggle, we succumb, we make a mistake and in the after math lose ourselves to the shame of what we perceive as failure. We get stuck in the vicious cycle of self criticism. When it comes to failing to protect something we love it can be even worse.

    I let my baby, my world, my characters and self down. I allowed myself to give up after so long a fight. Why couldn’t I fight a little longer? Why couldn’t I just…why didn’t I etc and so forth. It is a never ending world of what if and why.

    Answers I have come to find come when we stop struggling against what is. Why do we torture ourselves with the regret? Human nature I suppose, but in the end what defines our growth or lack there of and how much time it takes for us to come back into ourselves.

    I had been so strong, so resilient, doing so much, accomplishing so much, stopping made all that stop too. Made me the opposite of what identified myself as being, took my power away from me. Now there was no release, there was no escape. And there wouldn’t be until I could let go of the shame in comparing the two.

    Present self was battling against past self preventing any future self from forming. Why? Again the shame. The shame of having to start again. The shame of having to admit and accept that I wasn’t who I had left behind, had “betrayed”.

    Having to reenter something that was so akin to my being, so apart of my self, it would be like relearning how to breath! Why should I have to restart something that I created, that defined me and that I defined? Why should I have to begin, why can I not just jump back in?

    Again…The shame.

    Maybe these things are still natural. Maybe they still do come easy, maybe it will fall back into the flow of how it used to be if not become something way better from the other side of having learned something from going through all of this. What needs to be addressed is the fact that the reason nothing is coming “easy” is because you are not going easy on yourself.

    You are not acknowledging the fact that you are coming back into this with burden, something that wasn’t there when it was good. You are coming back into it seeing yourself, regarding yourself as something damaged. You are seeing the time for what you lost. Seeing the blank page as all you haven’t done and not with the excitement of what will come next because you are still too concerned with the comparison.

    I’m not telling you to give yourself an excuse. I asking you to give yourself a chance. A chance to continue, to keep going by letting yourself go.

    Let go of your past and let yourself go in the present so you can go, charging into the future you deserve!

    It may not be comfortable, these emotions suck. It sucks to have to “try” at something you used to just live, but we have to push ourselves through these uncomfortable feelings to earn back the flow.

    It is in you. It is of you. If it was once, then it is now, but don’t expect it to just come naturally when what stopped you in the first place was more likely then not something unnatural. Convention in and of itself is unnatural. When we fall to its pressure, fall to our haters, let ourselves get caught up in the bullshit it is unnatural, point blank.

    We take it on, we lie to ourselves, we beat ourselves up into believing we can’t do, and maybe don’t deserve any better, and then when we try with these weighs at the forefront of our minds and convictions we inevitably lose the perceived battle.

    We need to go back into rediscovering our “groove” with acceptance. Acceptance to the feelings that will be there, the challenge – not battle – that will be there. That it may take time, that it may be a kerfuffle of ideas to page and difficulty of action to movement to ability to accomplishment but with the belief that it will get better.

    We didn’t start out knowing,  we learned as we went. It may be upsetting to feel that you have to relearn, but maybe that too is just another test of perception and it’s really more about earning the freedom of expression again.

    If it’s something that came easy that now comes hard maybe that’s because you are lacking the faith in yourself and ability, so why should they come so easily? They sense this, inside your truest, purest essence senses the doubt, so earn its trust back by doing without the shame, without the fear or hesitation.

    Just go and trust that in the end you’ll be in the middle and happy that you began again.

  • Actualization Needs Visualization

    visualization

    I always been very outspoken about the need for story tellers in order to create something truly captivating they need to create real people.

    A story stops and starts at believably. Across the board I think this can go for all genres of creative story telling, because the one thing that all story types have in common is their need to resonate, to entertain and captivate their audience.

    Every story has been written before. The new comes in with the identity you lend it via your perspective and voice, taking that one step further your interpretation of various perspectives and voices!

    We have the ability to become people, live different live, engage with a wide assortment of differentiating personalities and countless walks of life and situation. Who else can say that? What other career can boast as much?

    Even actors don’t get the chance to play all parts, to see and construct all sides. We, we must commit to multiple degrees of conviction, consciousness and judgment. We get to play both hero and villain, antagonist and protagonist, but each from the point of view that they are in the right.

    If we use characters as mere vehicles for our singular viewpoint we are missing out on a chance to create a world bigger then our own with the ability to engage and affect others. Not to mention have a whole lot of fun in the process!

    I know that for my part I am an extremest. I love to perform, have always loved to perform, I stapled sheets to my bedroom ceiling for goodness sake to put on “Love Sucks” an original musical – by yours truly – for my little brother ( to rav reviews might I add. ;))

    I love to throw myself into my stories, into my characters, sometimes surprising myself with what comes out of their mouths through me, sometimes it can alter my stories entire trajectory. Not to say that I don’t go into things with a plan, but by outlining a foundation of situation I then plop my characters in and allow them to find their own way out via improv. By being invested and excited to see where they will take me next translates to my finished product by giving me something to take back to my desk and fill out with text.

    It’s freeing and just plan fun!

    But this technique also works without the physical free-for-all, in fact I use it all the time, when I’m just sitting at my desk working. I’ve always gone into storytelling with a loose outline, I don’t like to have every little detail accounted for. I prefer to get my A, B and C’s in order – all major event markers – then allow from there my characters growth to account for the flow.

    Again I am surprised by how some characters come out. They are created to play a certain part in the story, but often times their motives surprise me; their personalities, their interactions and development and how it boosts the impact of the main events.

    Again it’s the meat on the bones of structure.

    A simple exercises to help flesh these feelings out, help expand your characters reach and base them in reality is, for instance, when your character is reacting to something emotionally, how will you describe it with more then just adjectives?

    I say step outside of the situation and put yourself in their shoes, take it on, feel it inside, what is your bodies response? Pay attention to how it sits in your system, recall when something has happened like it in your own past.

    No, I’m not one for “method” anything, but often times we are too busy in the moment to truly feel a moment cognitively, but it imprints itself upon our senses and when those are stirred so to is the memory and the emotional response it therefore invokes.

    So bring it back up to yourself, stir it and pay attention. By doing this you can put words to the emotions others cannot. You automatically provoke that sensation, that memory and, like a ninja, associate yourself with the emotions it stimulates.

    If you can visualize the scene as you are writing it, if you can internalize the characters driving force, switching the perspective insights of your world’s structure between persona and basically evoke a response within yourself I can almost guarantee you that you will be writing something greater than your vision.

    You’ll be writing a world and characters that people will want to get lost in.

     

     

  • Write what you…NO

    thirdeyeknowledge

     

    My guess is that if you’re a writer you have heard the advice “Write what you know.”  It’s a big one in the screenwriting community as a form of guidance to help make your content more relatable and your characters and content more realistic.

    HOWEVER…

    I don’t necessarily agree. As a creative I believe it is important to get out of your box. I have written an alien story line when I said I didn’t think I would or could, that it just wasn’t my thing, but guess what I found out: I have the ability to make it my thing.

    And that is true guidance to anything creative. We all have our talents, our specialties, our strengths, but these can run the gamete when used in accordance with imagination.

    As writers it is our jobs to create people out of thin air and make them 3D, make them something readers and viewers will care about, cheer, love, love to hate and obsess over. We have to create intricate worlds that draw people in and keep their interest for however long is necessary and then some.

    Write what you know is limiting advice in my opinion often times taken to literally with guidelines too severe, never touching upon the truth of its encouragement. No, I don’t think its a bad idea in general to set stories in places you know, or base characters on people or experiences you’ve known or had, but how far is that really going to get you? How many stories at most?

    I have never had an alien encounter (finger crossed this will be the year. ;))I don’t know what it’s really like, or they’re really like, but I do know the stories I like to tell.

    In fact I like to base any “fantastical” writing I do in as much realism as I can. That’s what originally drew me to Marvel comics, which then led to my writing, in the first place. I loved this idea that once you got passed their extraordinary superpowers they were real people in a real world, bad guys were just what one would consider their normal. It was all based in the realm of plausibility because it centered around the characters humanity.

    That’s when it hits you: we all know people.

    So even though I tend to be a genera writer I make it my business and mission to take the spectacle out of the spectacular and make you forget that what you are watching, reading, experiencing is outside the realm of the possible.

    Real people first. The phenomenal, satirical, horrific, dramatic or action packed second. By advising you to write what you know they are basically guiding you to write something that will mean something to people. They figure that if you are writing about something that you have experience with you are approaching your writing with more than just a means to an end. You will be approaching it with opinion, emotion, reaction and feeling, all the things the audience cant and wont feel unless you do.

    Write an experience but keep it human. When we approach stories with the idea of reality we approach them with the kind of respect that lends them legitimacy.

    When you bring your own experience to the table you bring flesh to the bones of structure. That’s because you are bringing a point of view based in human understanding. When we create characters who are based in three-dimensional understanding we suddenly generate interest, intrigue into the world they inhabit and the situations they face.

    As the writer if we immerse ourselves in our projected worlds via research, but not just that of topic but of character. When we put ourselves into the minds of these characters, play a bit with their interactions, convictions and quirks we will approach wherever we choose to put them with that touch of reality that lends an *omph* to all they do and express.

    You create the experience for yourself by creating interaction between you and your characters. By making your characters more than just plot movers.

    We have to create knowledge by putting ourselves in the way of the know. Walk – or in this case write – a mile, see how far it takes you.

    Don’t just write what you know, know what you write.

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