Glory Fiction

Creating Into The Void Of My Own Indifference to Fit In

  • BatmanMirrormirror

    Commissioner Gordon stands before Mirrianna Savauge a rather serious looking young woman who has come to the High Security Solitary department of Arkham Asylum for a very specific reason.

    She has an intimidating presence about her person that seems to stem from her determination and the confidence she holds in her conviction, her hair is a dark and pulled back neatly, everything about her in fact is precise and neat. She wears glasses and business attire, with a large medical briefcase; sterile and heavy held with ease against her leg. It doesn’t seem like much could cause her to struggle or sway in balance…and that goes for everything.

    Gordon, in a non-chalet manner turns to the wall opposite the entrance, but pauses for a moment as he looks to her with a hesitant sideways glance:

    “You sure you know what you’re getting yourself in to?”

    She is non-pulsed, unmoved by his concern and closeted warning.

    “Commissioner Gordon,” She begins with an exasperated droll, tired of being told she shouldn’t do the very thing that has compelled her to in her work and life as though she hadn’t the wherewithal to know what is best for herself . “You know what it is I came here to do. You have my reasons and credentials. If you had any concern you should have brought it to my attention before granting my clearance.”

    Gordon shakes his head at her youth, but with disarmed accountability for he has seen so much in his time that he would save those he could if only he were able.

    “Look I have all confidence in your abilities and references, but you have to admit there’s a difference between lab and field. I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t give you one last warning…or chance.”

    But Mirrianna is without any doubt or affliction:

    “Your concern is unwarranted; I know what it is I am dealing with. This is my specified area of expertise.”

    Gordon sighs for he’s known other’s with this kind of precision perspective with the will of a bull and no matter what he says, does or knows better it wont make a difference in their quest…but still he tries.

    “In a field you yourself coined. Not quite sure I ever heard of a Physiological Chemist before you came along.”

    “Living in what this world has become, one must evolve in field and in body to secure survival.”

    She retorted.

    “You take all of this very seriously.”

    He is almost amused.

    “You should accept nothing less. The fact is my parent’s money and social standing provided me with a plethora of choice and circumstance. I chose to help improve the odds of others. Now, if you have no more precautions to take, I would like to get this over with.”

    Gordon nods, knowing there is nothing more to do then complete his part signaling the door to appear in the wall opposite of entrance.

    “He’s all yours, but word to it with this character, expertise or no there’s no expecting anything.”

    With that one last warning Gordon steps aside allowing Mirrianna, who stands ever at the ready, her path.

    “Understood Commissioner, and thank you.”

    As the reality of this moving forward becomes ever more apparent Gordon himself is becoming more agitated and on his guard as though he is regretting his part in this already.

    “We’ll be watching.”

    He says in as much of warning tone as comforting and with that the small alcove of room seems to vanish and all at once Mirrianna is in a box of a cell with no way in and no way out. Sparse and sterile there is nothing on the walls to hold or break, there are no corners, nothing one could use for any purpose whatsoever only a cot that hangs smoothly from the wall. It is in that cot that Mirrianna’s objective sits within the confines of his tightly bound straitjacket.

    That someone being… The Joker.

  • MargaretAtwoodquote

    Time for introspection! I mean what writer, or creative for that matter, doesn’t have at least a little bit of perfectionist in them?

    We are trying to transcend the line between imagination and reality by translating whole worlds, realms and characters etched upon our minds and auras, our very sinew emanating the inspiration of their creation of the how, who, what, where and when in the form of perfectly curated words and sentences. It’s an intimidating prospect! Made even more so by the sheer fact that they are our creations! Our babies! Our children and happy places! You want to do them justice and not only that but you want the world to feel the same way as you do.

    You want people to embrace your writing as they would a long lost friend, for they have provided for you so much and now you are ready to let them out into the world. So when you feel like your thoughts aren’t taking to the page as anything less than perfect it can be a real non-starter.

    I’ve known many a perfectionist who were so crippled by the idea of less then, of “failure” that they would never allow themselves to begin. We are the makers. We thrive on imagination where ideas tend to percolate in the illusive dream world of conception. When it is time to convey them in a tangible format our expectations are set to want to meet the feelings, the ideals, that our fantasies set as standard.

    We forget that reality, life, comes with a hell of a lot of little details. Breaching the realm of the real comes with gravity. Comes with troubleshooting, comes with odds and ends that can’t be contained in the principles of perfection.

    But don’t you see that’s where true creation lies!

    If we never start we never get the chance to see what life, in all its messy glory, adds to our brainchild. We can plan, we can outline, we can format and structure to our hearts content, but that isn’t creative.

    Creativity comes when we are challenged and challenge comes when we jump in! I’m not saying don’t think. I’m not saying don’t have a plan of action. What I am saying is learn to have fun with the momentum.

    That’s when your work can surprise you. That’s when you will surprise yourself. That’s when you will run into a conceptual problem that you will have to “create” your way out of and have to challenge your knowledge and insights to come up with something new!

    This puts you in the position to play, to get to be the reader and shock yourself with the twist and turns of plot and character! That’s half the fun of creation is never knowing for sure what the result, the outcome will be.

    By the time you write the end you might not have perfection (we all know to draft and draft again!) but you have the starting point. You have experience with a tangible creation. It you want to fix this, tweak that, remove that altogether and change his name to George great! But because you started with an open mind you will be ready to go into the editing phase still jived on the high of creativity.

    There is no right and wrong when it comes to creativity because you set the standards. You are the one defining your process so what’s the point of perfection? It doesn’t exist here. Only progress has room to thrive when it comes to creation because without it you just another dreamer.

    What separates the creators from the dreamers is that they start. It not might be what you expected or even thought you wanted, but classifying it in “good” or “bad” is only limiting your possibility of success. For they can only be defined and compared through the eyes of inception. By you.

    You have the control here. It is your fear and doubt that draw the line of perfection. What if it isn’t good enough? What if I’m not good enough? What if it exposes my inexperience? What if no one likes it?

    Well…What if you just see where it takes you?

    One can always go back and start again. Life is full of a million beginnings, however the more you experience the less you will doubt your ability to at least try instead of paralyzing yourself into sitting still.

    There is a huge difference between starting and starting from nothing. Better to leave a trail of words, of colors, of pages and lines then regret for time spent in a paralyzing state of fear of less.

    Do more. Feel more. Be more. Write more.

    Because in the end perfection is subjective, but creativity is freeing.

  • BatmanMirrormirror

    The night is dark and thick with rain that pours down as unrelenting as the iron framework that keeps this facility cut off from the civilized world.

    Arkham Asylum.

    This particular extension is even more secluded, furrowed away from the main building and holding cell for the criminally insane or at least those lawyered up enough to feign such a sentence. Lawyers and anarchy what a thin line.

    The metal bomb shelter of a box is not just high security but ultra, nuclear, security. Not many get in and those who do wont get out, at least not without a lot of persuasion.

    Computer imprint scan reads: Mirrianna Savauge: Psychological Chemist.

    Even the guards on 72 hour watch are locked in. They wont take any chances, not any more. Not with him. But she will be the exception to this rule and for the better if she has anything to say about it. She is a rather serious looking woman, young but mature, whose dedication to her beliefs and work can see her come across as almost robotic and cold.

    Authorization under Commissioner Gordon: Cleared. Enter.

    The large metal doors she stands before slide open revealing one behind that pulls up into itself, like the lowering entrance of some grand fortress.  She enters feeling just before the tug of apprehension that warns her there will be no coming back once this line is crossed, but she has worked so hard, come so far, what’s a little further?

    “Does he know me?” She wonders. “Would he even remember? Did he even care?”

    She is hand scanned by security before another large door that reads: High Security Isolation Ward, in big bold letters above its entrance sparking the reminder of neon greens that point to the exit, one last reprieve, one last chance to turn around.

    “Was I just another poor victim of circumstance? A sideliner; never a thought given to? A casualty in heart and humanity alone? No body to add to the list so forgotten in the ruble of the chaos. Would he even know my face?”

    But she will not so the thick doors open and she walks down another long sterile secluded hallway; a deep tunnel of what it precedes: isolation from all things human and natural.

    “They say he’s a genius, yet how far does that supposed genius go? Will I surprise him?”

    She halts at the end of the long hallway only to be scanned by unseen monitors, rays and security.

    “It doesn’t matter.” She continues to herself.

    Again the large door opens, a sign that she’s been cleared. She steps inside as it closes tightly behind her cementing her fate. She is now in a very small room. It is like the entryway in a humble home or a walk in coat closet. Yet she does not stand alone. Before her is Jim Gordon Gotham City’s Police Commissioner. Her eyes sharpen with laser focus and in an instant all doubts and questioning fall out of her mind, for she has the only answer, the only reason she needs:

    “I have work to do.”

     

  • TerryPratchettquote

     

    The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.

    Ha! I love this Terry Pratchett quote. Not only is it a freeing thought but it’s actually quite true in its astute observation if only we would just listen and apply!

    Writer’s tend to have overly active imaginations when you add that to the tendency to overthink and over analyze every thing – especially when it come out of their pen – a first draft can represent quite the paralyzing obstacle.

    BUT! Things being what they are a first draft is always going to lead to a second and a third and so the number grows.

    Of course we would all like to think that we are so good at what we do that when we put pen to paper and fingers to keyboard it is just an extension of the genius that makes such perfect sense in our heads. But honestly when was the last time that something translated itself from your head and into reality without becoming at least a little (if not a lot) muddled, lost in transit, or confused?

    I know personally that my mind is often much faster than my fingers in most cases, because when it starts – that overflowing need to write, that inspirational spark of the fantastic and the I just have to get this down need – it can be hard to unscramble and keep up with all the thoughts and ideas that come rushing out at the same time. It’s the excitement and eagerness to get it all out, all down at once. To move on to the next and see where it takes you! Because here you are sitting down to write the book you want to read, to engage with characters and concepts that are like children and old friends to you. There is an innate want and responsibility to get it right, to have it make sense, to have it come across the best to its and your ability so that you can share it with the world!

    But too often our need and want to share overrides our enjoyment of hearing the story ourselves. I’ve known many a writer who stresses over getting it right the first time. Who spends their writing time starting and stopping, erasing and rewriting and doubting that their any good at all because the stress themselves out of their own basic satisfaction: That of storytelling.

    Well I say listen to Terry. Why bother editing before you have to? It’s so much less intimidating to start writing that book, that screenplay, that short story etc. if you start it having fun. If you just let loose your ideas in the realm of fantasy and creation.

    Keep to your outline, your cannon and continuity of course, but inside those guidelines go nuts! Have fun with it, explore, experiment, and for goodness sake don’t hold back for the fear of it not being perfect. The “bad” stuff is there for a reason. It’s there so that when you come back to it imagination can be reignited, fresh eyes can be focused in on at least the idea of what you wanted to convey as you polish and round its rough edges.

    If you only ever write and delete for fear or disappointment of it not being perfect then you will never leave the first page of the first draft of the rest of your life and story. (Sorry, the life coach in me couldn’t help itself ;))

    I know what its like to be on a winning feel good streak only to be stopped in your tracks by muddied road. To be tripped up in a part of the story that just doesn’t seem to flow. Right now actually I am in that very spot with my novel. Everything was flowing so good, things were coming together then WAM! POW! Stuck. I kept going at it writing things that just didn’t feel right, that I wasn’t as happy as I had been up to that point with, but you know what I did? I wrote it up and I saved it. That’s right I hit save and walked away. Then the next day I came back and I made what I had work. It wasn’t as bad off as I was seeing after all.

    Moving forward I’m still on some bumpy ground (I blame the trauma of my child hood. ;)) but I’m not about to let it stop, or worse, freeze my progress. When it is time to write I do just that I sit down and I write. If it’s not feeling perfect or good enough I work through, I push through then if when I come back to it I end up deleting it oh well because I played with what I was given when I sat down I didn’t waste my time worrying about it not being good enough. Because I know the road to good writing is paved with drafts. Multiple drafts.

    The most important thing you can do is get your story smack, down out of your head. It’s not doing anyone any good whirling around up there in the depths of your imagination. Because in the end we’re writers and as writer’s we have so many ideas running around our heads, inspirations setting themselves off and being triggered or sparked at any given time of the day then circling their way around our vertebrata and very essence, basically we will always think of something new, something better etc. It’s the name of the ever growing game.

    The best thing you can do is write. Just start writing and let the ideas flow from there free from judgment or scruples. So that when you come back you have something to fine tune to the story of your dreams instead of the stop and start of your nightmares!

  • emmaleonard
    Emma Leonard

    So a little while ago I was reading some Batman. In particular the graphic novels Hush and The Man Who Laughs.

    Which sparked an idea, which sparked some musings, which led to discussion that ended up in a story. It was one of those times that I was in between projects and feeling adrift, things in my personal life were all messy and complicated – Always fun *sigh* – and really I just needed an escape, a focus, and what better then the very thing that got me into writing in the first place: comics!

    There’s something about comics that’s just home to me. That’s uncomplicated when allowed to just be. When I’m just allowed to be apart of them. I love the characters! I love the long standing tapestry of continuity that creator upon creative are meant to just add a piece to, a touch of their style and lore. The collective character continuity that commands a need to respect the past, present and future. To me it has never been something that was daunting, its more something so inspiring, something so collaborative and expressive!

    It lends a feeling of real life, something that just keeps going, that to truly be intimate with it you have to apply learning, apply wanting to get to know more. You get to discover reasons and whys and then, through your interactions, get to add to it!

    Marvel was always my main squeeze, mind, but there’s something about Batman. Call it the kool-aid of the general consciousness, but, baby I drank it hard. He’s just badass!

    BatmanbySebastianFiumara
    Sebastian Fiumara

     

    Besides the obvious he has all the elements (Catwoman!) I love in a character, I mean the psychology of everything is my main motivation for anything! And there is a lot of crazy to sink your teeth into.

    Now, best you mind that I do not like crazy trope, when I say I like delving into the psychology of things I mean the reason behind. The unique perspective of individual and reasoning’s that we on the outside don’t always perceive. I love to go beyond what convention perceives and blankets in the black and white, the non-definition of “good” and “bad”.

    Anyway, I’ve always loved to challenge myself and so – between you me and the person who double dared it into fruition – began my descent into a comic book story line set in the world of Gotham and the night dwellers who walk its streets!

    To truly get the full effect of its undercurrent I would recommend the stories above, for in comic books everything has a way of tying together to form a pretty little picture in the drapery of sequential literature!

    Entitled: Mirror, Mirror.

    Exerts Coming Soon…

  • Harumi Hironakaemotion
    Harumi Hironaka

     

    Short answer: both.

    But now let me get into each one respectively and how they can both be applied to your writing for incredible results and character insights!

    Empathy:

    Described as the identification with or understanding of thoughts, feelings, or emotional state of another person (at least according to my word hippo app – my most favorite of apps! I mean its icon is a pink hippo for god’s sake, what’s not to love?).  ergo your characters.

    Now I’ve have never been one for “Method Acting”, for the get all up in your own feels as a way to understand your characters. Personally I’ve always approached acting and performing as having nothing to do with me! Actors are the vehicles for the characters that they are interpreting, that’s what makes them such a pivotal part in the translation of story. They can totally enhance a telling through their understanding of a character.

    Different eyes perceive different things, in layered story telling this is vital. What one person interprets can blow the lid off of something someone else might have read into the same.

    Motive, meaning, intention these things are all subjective! But the actor, the reader has to be invoking the essence of the writers words, they have to be reading between the lines of subtext written down not just deciding what it means. It is an intricate dance but one worth the time it takes to learn the steps.

    Using your own experiences to recall that sad moment when your dog died so that you can bring “April’s” upset to life. Nope, no good, it will only make you cry it wont make you feel and certainly wont make the audience only see a sad looking person up on the screen not the invocation of what it represents and all that it means in that specific moment and how it connects to the story as a whole.

    You have to stand back and truly look at your characters. You have to look at the story through their eyes, you have to experience the situation from their perspective and drive it all forward there from.

    Empathy stops a little short, but it can add you as a writer by bringing you closer to your character by connecting you to their heart, good, bad, ugly or assholey.

    This is where empathy will truly aid a writer. As both the reader and creator you have to be able to see from a 360* perspective. People might end up hating this character, the “perfect villain” but what makes them well rounded, what makes them different then any other fairy tale baddie? What makes them human? Because at the end of then day every Tom, Dick and asshole is a human.

    They are just as real as you and me, they feel – perhaps in an assholey way – just like we do. So you have to empathize with their part of the story in order to truly add that extra leverage to their motivation. That extra DAMN-SNAP to their insinuation.

    However…

    Empathy is one thing, I have protested this for some time when it comes to basic interaction, on can feel for another and that’s all well and good, they can feel bad because they know exactly how you feel, BUT…a lot of good that does anyone!

    Which brings us to Emotional Intelligence:

    Understanding means nothing without proper application. You can recall a time you were sad in order to invoke the right amount of feeling and description in your writing or performance but what good is understanding without compassion, without the ability to read the situation for what it is and provide what is necessary? Empathy in general can be more selfish in application when used just by itself, it can be one sided. That’s why I feel being empathetic alone wont do you much good when it comes to your art.

    Emotional intelligence is what will allow you to put yourself aside and say, hey now, what would this person being feeling? I know what I might feel, but what makes them different?

    By being empathetic in an emotionally intelligent way to your characters, by feeling what they would feel, seeing and understanding what provokes and motivates their feeling actions and reactions you add the depth of humanity that you know I am oh so found of! 😉

    You layer everything they for then in an air of humanity that blurs the lines of convention, of the simplistic, one dimensional of the black and white. Emotions are ambiguous when being seen from the outside therefore you have to ground them in the proper motivation and drive to truly hit home with the impact.

    As a writer if you are able to look at human interaction and emotion subjectively but from an empathic and emotionally intelligent way you will be open to a world of the multi dimensional!

    And who doesn’t want that?

     

  • WilliamFaulknerquote

    Now here’s a good one that goes with the whole “convention panics” rants and raving tangents I’ve been going off on lately (See here and here).

    Because it can often get a bit overwhelming when one is hit with the idea that they are doing something, giving so much of themselves and there time but “seemingly” getting nowhere – and I use “seemingly” in quotations because its only based on society;s perception of somewhere after all.

    A creative whatever can become consumed with the question of what makes them this thing. What makes them professional and are they really just a fraud? A fake, a phony bologna such and thus claiming to have authority without the proof of substantiated success.

    We can downplay our work and disregard ourselves in the process of doubting our passions validity in the world of its creation forgetting just how many of the greats themselves were unappreciated in their time. Not that I’m saying your work has to outlive you in order for it to become worth something, but it just goes to show you how subjective the industry is when it comes to the creative. What’s great today could be forgotten tomorrow to make room for what was forgotten last week!

    The point is your time will come around if you keep at it. What makes a person a professional anything is their dedication to its process. Conception is born through the art of production. In order to call yourself an artist you have to paint. In order to call yourself a sculptor you have to sculpt. And in order to call yourself a writer you have to write!

    I myself have always been obsessed with the idea of keeping myself at the ready so that when that big break came, that opportunity to break in, that open window somewhere I would be more than ready to hit the ground running – of course at the time it was to keep in physical peak form so that I could stunt fight with the best of them and see my plans to choreograph a real action scene my way come to pass…but I digress. 😉

    I did get sidetracked in writing, I hit a wall with my face and I will be the first to admit I plain old gave up, sure it was because of depression, because of disenchantment, because of life and my needing to go through the fire in order to appreciate my flame, but on the other side of it – and hell even through! – I have to say that my biggest regret is that I stopped writing.  Despite the fact that I cut myself off from virtually everything: relationships, connections, interactions, you name it! I regret not fighting to create the most.

    So I know first hand that it is not worth being consumed by your place and validity in doing what you love. It is not worth the doubt, it is not worth the pain, it is most defiantly not worth the time. Because you could be using all of that energy and time to be creating instead, to be honing your craft, to be writing more books, short stories, sequential dynamite, flash fiction, screenplays, poems and more besides!

    No matter what it is if you are not doing what you love it may just not be worth it. So don;t worry about what you call yourself because in the end actions most definitely, defiantly and eventually speak louder than words boasted… but especially when written and printed! 😉

  • conventional creative

    I don’t know about anyone else, but my road to creative success, even just personally, has been one riddled with the doubts, compromises and all out stop gaps of what I’ve come to label -not affectionately mind you – the “convention panics”.

    I’ve never been one to fold or fall easily to the whims of others, generally what people think does not concern me, I just try to live by the philosophy that sees me doing me and connecting to the things and those that I help and who in turn help me to thrive. I would never label myself a trailblazer, I am simply someone living their life as and for just that: their life.

    It seems a simple and happy thing to be and do yet how often things on paper look better than their application to real life!

    We seem to live in a society that functions on the concept of “normal” something that simply has no actual definition when taking into consideration a group of individuals, but that’s just it the standards of society aren’t based on the individual and therefore is quite skewed and misrepresented.

    Still these standards are instilled in us from a young age and one can’t – no matter how independent, open or even tempered – help but feel the pressure. I can’t help but turn my mind to the concept of the “tortured artist” a stereotype that comes from something. How many creatives truly suffered with their creations, with their talents and doing that which was and is so uniquely them? Suffering because they felt isolated because of their creative, different and alien, considered weird or crazy because of how they thought or dared look at things, called bums for what they chose to dedicate their lives to and the pressure of making something of themselves to prove that how they were was not a waste and going truly mad as a result?

    Dedication often leading to self destruction.

    How often are we made to wonder if what we do and have chosen to dedicate ourselves to is a waste of time, is a worthless investment of time, life, and commitment? We regulate it to the darkness, to a hobby, to something secret we do when we are alone as not to be judge for how we spend our passion. We downplay and down talk our talents because this is not a society that would see us thrive.

    Arts are one of the first things on the chopping block when it comes to funding and exposure, they are fringe and something only a certain type tends to touch or be interested in.

    Sure there are those who do just dabble, who play with the creative and good for them! Creative is not something that should be regulated to the serious, to the “professional” and “educated”. Creative cannot be taught it must be experienced, felt and expressed to truly be understood.

    What I’m really talking about though are those who would choose to make it their life’s work, their times consumption and true focus. Yet how many – myself included – waste some of that precious time worrying as they desperately search for ways to make it fit into a “standard” life. Alongside a real job/career that will pay the bills and support you? That will see you set up in the “real world” and in a “real life”?

    It can be a stressful thing to feel so drawn to a path that has no decided path, no standard of practice, no guidelines and no definite. In art, in the creative, their are no standards! There are no real precedents! It is a path one has to follow by heart and through feeling alone. Things that can wear thin against all the opposition of convention that pressure and press in the form of family and friends, in the forms of everyday things be it bills, forms, resumes, or insurance!  If you don’t fit into a tiny box that society deems “correct” deems worthy of calling you a “real person” it can leave you feeling isolated and like a dead beat suckling off the fringes of society and the acceptable.

    Perhaps I am being dramatic here, but you have to remember I’m a creative myself. Why should we have to be distracted from what we love with shame that we are not good enough, with the fear and doubt that who we are was never meant to be, that we are in fact wasting time and perhaps just wastes of time? Why should we have to start and stop trying to reach a compromise between the creative and the conventional?

    Why are we so liner in our ways of thinking and seeing the world? Why can’t we accept talent based on results, on endeavor, on individual?

    I am not afraid to work, to work hard and long and intensely, but creative is so often not considered work at all.  We say it is but only when one is connected and successful. Creative is okay as long as you are those things but you only become those things when you put in the time, work and commitment when you are not those things!

    Still with me?

    They say its okay if you do it their way as if creative is something that can be regulated to a degree! Wasn’t it Picasso who said:

    “It took me four years to paint like a Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child.”

    ( And for all you smart asses out there who might come back with “But he also said:”

    “Learn the rules like a pro so you can beat them like an artist”

    (You know who you are Alex! ;))

    Yes, yes he did, but again I don’t agree that the interpretation of that implies standardized learning. One must expand their knowledge, yes. One must learn about the greats, about the differentiating techniques and styles – this goes for all types and forms of creative – in order to expand their own concepts, but not in a regulated one size fits all way. Again creative is best when it can be done with the untainted excitement of a child; when it can be seen, touched, felt, experienced, tried and failed at, so it can be tried again!

    In creative individuality is everything! It might have been said before, done before etc but not by you! Therefore it is so important that you keep the you in tact!

    That can be hard to do when beaten down by this is how it should be done, this is how it is done, this is how it is kind of world we live in.

    Creative is work, creative is real, creative is a lifestyle. Don’t fall to the standards of conventional thinking and living, because in the end you will waste more time distracted by fear then coming alive with the love of what you’re truly passionate about. So stick to it no matter how tough or isolating it might seem because in the end you’d rather be seen for it then forgotten by it.

  • Jean Faucheur
    Jean Faucheur

     

    He spoke a language no one knew,

    Seeing things in a different way and at a different pace,

    Why do we judge what we cannot see?

    We form preconceived notions about that which we cannot touch.

    How do we make a place for that which we cannot fathom?

    They say he is dumb.

    They say he is slow.

    Because he does not think like we are taught to,

    Does not perform to the programming of man,

    His position is such that society will not recognize him outside of their pre-established placement of him.

    He sits in the sand box all alone.

    Some say he will never leave.

    For as he plays he sees nothing,

    Hears no one,

    Senses blurred by that which he observes. 

    Focused and attentive,

    Gentle and precise,

    His movement is honed to the task at hand,

    But to them he will never be man.

    They pity his existence for it does not fit with theirs,

    But I say watch him as he works in his own way and of his own world

    His concentration exists outside of himself

    Apart from society,

    He’s found a place where there is no ego,

    Awareness of self is illusive

    Still they pity him for he can never be whole,

    Without considering what makes him so,

    He will never know the grace of the social,

    His work is more cerebral,

    The warmth of companionship,

    For fulfillment to him comes from another source

    This is not blessing but neither is it curse

    He cannot learn from us and we will not learn from him,

    Two different spectrums of the lives we cannot live.

     

    -Glory Anna

     

  • Jean Faucheur1
    Jean Faucheur

    It is National Mental Health Awareness month and I am no stranger to the effects these types of afflictions have on one inter-personally as well as personally.

    You could say it’s a family trait, but really it has been etched upon what little history is known to me of my family tree. My mother suffers greatly and as a result she was never truly free to be a full mother to me, and as she gets older the harder it has become for her.

    Sometimes it can scare me when I see the inheritance in my own nature. I do not believe our illnesses are the same, but it is a reminder that you can not escape blood. One cannot outrun the pasts effects and so one must accept these parts and pieces of themselves with gentle kindness.

    Aggression for the hate of something one has no control over is a completely worthless path to take, for it never alleviates the resentment it only helps it to grow, to give power to the very thing that brought you here to begin with until it is all that you are left with.

    A hard lesson to learn that one can only come around to by partially walking it. I have been there, I have seen my spoiled remains laid waste to on the side of the road, fallen by my very hands.

    Lashing out because all I wanted was to be “normal”, was to have some part of myself, my body, my nature be predictable, be reliable, be acceptable to me, to anyone really.

    Even now, though I have forgiven myself, I still must deal with the stigma of being a “emotionally difficult” person. When the truth of the matter was that any “lashing out” that I did I only ever did because I was trying to understand it myself.

    The struggle comes in when people don’t give you the credit for having to live with the “crazy”. That it exists 24/7 for you and all you want to do is figure it out.

    I have always been a very logical and analytical person, I wont look away from the difficult or perceived “negative”I want to learn and truly move past something difficult and one can only do that, especially when it comes to mental and personal health, through experiencing, through feeling. Through knowing what it is that causes these afflictions and learning to walk hand and hand with it on your path of life.

    In some ways I believe we all get a taste of this through puberty, when all is ever-changing and out of your control. Emotions are frantic and all we want it to figure our own bodies and selves out. It is often classified as “self-absorbed” when really I believe it should be eased and celebrated without the humiliation by encouraging the self discovery of its challenge.

    No matter our perceived struggles we are not so different then any one person around us. Nobody chooses to be the way that they are, good or bad we are given what we have and and expected to do our best with it. Nothing is for nothing, everything has its reason, so its time to release the stigma of “normal” and instead allow people to find and define what is peace to them.

    Only tolerance, love, kindness and acceptance will get one anywhere in life, but it has to start with self before it can truly make a difference to anyone else life. Once we shine inward we begin to reflect outwardly what others can and will perceive as a beacon of guiding light to follow to their own inner home of love and acceptance.

     

     

     

     

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